It is normal for children to be hesitant and sometimes even cry when being dropped off. It’s their way of communicating that they will miss you.
It's extremely important to let your child know you're leaving and to say good-bye. However, it is best to not say good-bye or make mention of leaving until you are ready to actually follow through and leave.
Once you are ready to leave, if your child does become upset, please reassure them in a positive tone that this is a fun and safe place and that you will be back as soon as work is done, place your child in the provider’s arms for comforting and leave. Lingering after saying good-bye often leads to confusion or anxiety, and even future manipulation attempts by the child, if older.
We know it's unpleasant to see your child (or any child) crying or upset, but we ask that you please refrain from sneaking away when your child is distracted without saying good-bye. Doing so damages the trust relationship you’ve worked so hard to establish with your little one and creates more anxiety for the child down the road. It also robs them of the opportunity to practice expressing and regulating emotions. So it is best to be clear about what is happening and provide assurance.
Remind your child of your previous transition visits/play dates and how much fun you had together. We strongly believe that by spending time here playing with your child, allowing them to see you relaxed and enjoying yourself in the company of the provider prior to the first day, sends the message to your child that this is a safe and happy place which you trust and enjoy, therefore they can trust and enjoy it here too. Drop-off time, however, is a rather difficult time to achieve that for most families, which is why we urge new families to schedule those play dates ahead of time.
After saying good-bye or mentioning that you will leave it’s important to be brief and follow through, as this too adds to the trust relationship you’ve worked so hard to establish with your little one. Therefore, don’t say good-bye until you’re ready and once you do, don’t take your child back or prolong the departure. A smile, cheerful good-bye kiss, and a reassuring word that you will be back is all that is needed. The Provider will avoid taking your child from your arms unless you verbally communicate that you want her to. This is to avoid confusion or a premature separation. Instead the Provider will wait until either you place the child in the provider’s arms or you communicate that you are ready to leave and she can take over to play with or comfort the child.
We find that when taking this approach, children usually calm down rather quickly after expressing their sadness of the parent leaving. Often times, children stop crying before the parent even drives away.
In addition to checking the brightwheel app, parents are also welcome to call anytime throughout the day to see how their child is doing.
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